All a-BORED already!

Leaving KL City is always an adventure, albeit not always an enjoyable one. Before every flight I always hope that I will be sat next to either someone really interesting or someone really hot. This has never happened.

“There was this one time” an old Sikh man was sat next to me and for the first half hour was just spent getting comfortable and what not. Then as soon as I pull out my book, he leans over and is like “So…whatcha readin’?” and then proceeds to explain how to have a fulfilling life, including tips on having an amazing sex life. Sounds interesting huh? Well…not for 6 hours straight.

Then there was another time I got stuck next to an old woman who fell asleep on my shoulder. This would have been fine had she not had the worst breath in the world.

So now that we’ve established that my luck on flights is not the best…I can continue.

Going through immigration had never felt so slow. I was sweating like a fat man who’s just gotten up from a low sofa. I was not happy. Went straight to the gate only to find that I had to wait longer in the heat that was the bane of my life. Although to be fair I shouldn’t really complain since I definitely prefer that to freezing my butt off.

Waiting swiftly became the bane of my life.

Time to board. There is a hoard of people and they’re all swarming and pushing as if being the first on the plane might make a difference as to how fast the plane might leave or maybe get them a prize. I reckon they thought it was the latter.

Got onto the plane and sat down, bracing myself for who my neighbor might be and had a little celebration in my head when nobody came for 10 minutes and I had the whole row to myself. I obviously celebrated too soon as 3 people sauntered up. Not fat, not smelly…that’s a promising start…they sit down and start chattering like nobody’s business, all loud and obnoxious. Talk talk talk whine whine whine blah blah blah – SHUT UP PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP! Not only does your laugh shake the whole row of seats but even as a small man you manage to brush shoulders with me – what is up with that!?

Luckily this was only a 2 hour flight to BKK. Finally landed and could get away from those jerks. I get on the shuttle and lo and behold they stand next to me. WHY DO THEY HAVE TO STAND NEXT TO ME!? NOOOOOO! Simmer simmer boil steam. Get into BKK airport and the place is friggin HUGE now! Where do I go – this place is huge – walk walk 500 m – wrong direction – turn around – walk walk grr.

You know you’re still in Asia when people stand in the middle of the travelators and giggle when you tell them to move. Well, at least I saw a fat guy sitting against a window. Plumbers crack HAHA! Woulda taken a picture but I was walking too fast and had gone too far. Giggles though.

Yet again I had to wait around for ages before boarding the flight to Vienna and the silly wifi didn’t work. GRR. Dislike! I DO NOT APPROVE! (Was it really necessary to make this airport so darn huge?! REALLY!?

STOD @ BKK airport – a recording announces the end of the travelators “Rawang – end of the walkway” and it’s getting rather repetitive and annoying as I’m sitting right next to it waiting to enter the gate. (Funny enough my trip started with me tripping over at the end of a travelator from the carpark to the KLIA departure hall.)

The Thais have weird keyboards – all metal and tappy. It makes me want to wash my hands. Also, someone called “Satan Elich” was called on the loudspeakers. Hmm…interestingly interesting.

Rewarded with not 1 but 2 free seats next to me so I shotgunned that shit and spread out like a cat, slept the whole way except for mealtimes for horrid Austrian airline food. Mmm…mushy stuff that can’t really be pinpointed as to what exactly you’re eating…mmm…

In Vienna. Wireless also failing to work, my phone battery about to die and my flight delayed for nearly an hour – it was safe to say…LAME. It’s cold here. Damn you Europe for being situated so far North! They eventually let us on board and took us on a trip through the Alps, and took longer than usual to wait for the weather to clear up a bit so we could land. After a hard landing, a walk through the frosty air and more waiting (for baggage this time) I finally arrived. Was greeted by my dad and we drove home.

So much happens in a day.


© Bianca Li Wei Brand and biancadventures, 2009 – Present.


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